Live Today

“Live today like it’s your last”. What does that even mean? What does that look like? How do I get out of an everyday rut? How do I know that I am in a rut?…

Regretting a day that hasn’t even happened yet. Preparing for bed the night before with pure dread. Dragging your feet between tasks until you fall asleep. Not wanting to have to wake up the next morning. Because when your alarm finally goes off, you find yourself completing the same old routine. Pushing through each dull day with nothing to look forward to. Some of y’all may not need to think so hard to imagine this, because it is your reality. Something you have experienced or are currently experiencing. 

In this post I want to share how to identify this seemingly chronic dread. I also want to share tips on how to get out of it. Because believe it or not, we have control over how we want our life to be. You have the power to make the necessary changes to enjoy each day like it’s your last. 

Personal Example:

That feeling I described in the beginning of this post is something I am quite familiar with. My first memorable phase of deep regret/dread was in high school. I remember driving to school experiencing a sense of deja vu. But it wasn’t a random, or even vague memory. I was reliving what felt like the same day over and over again. Wake up, church, school, dance, sleep, repeat. Nothing real different, nothing real exciting. I was in a rut.

I felt stuck and had a sudden motivation to get out. Much like most minors, there was only so much in my life that I could control/change. So I had to involve my mom in this process of getting out of the rut. Which brings me to my first piece of advice on learning how to truly feel like you are living each day to the fullest. 

Advice #1: Find an alternative route 

Quick note to the girls under 18/ the girls who are under supervision. A lot of conflict, stress, power struggles, and other issues may arise if you push too hard on boundaries/expectations clearly set in your house. For example, if school is a set expectation, then don’t try too hard to eliminate it. Either come up with ways to modify it to better suit you, or find another aspect of your life you can have a bigger influence on. 

Example

I had a really hard time with traditional school, but it was an expectation to graduate. After a few discussions with my parents and school counselors, I found an alternative route to the same destination. I decided to participate in a part time immersion school in the medical field. That way I could learn more hands on, explore a field of work that I could be interested in, and overall have new experiences. It made my days less mundane, myself much more excited, and still got me the high school credits necessary to graduate. 

There are so many alternative routes out there that will help you enjoy the process. It just takes a bit of digging and some creativity to find what works for you. 

Advice #2 : Create something to look forward to

If you know that the path you are on is right for you, but it’s feeling a bit difficult to stay committed, then create something to look forward to. It can be small like treating yourself to dinner at the end of a hard week. A small road trip out of town, or even a big trip. 

I remember having a few more months until the end of the semester and feeling like I couldn’t bear it. Lucky enough I discovered that there was a four day weekend coming up. I asked my parents if I could visit some cousins a few states over and they agreed as long as I could pay for the ticket. 

That trip gave me something to look forward to for weeks. It was great to see family, gain some experience solo traveling, and change up my regular routine. It was also enough of a reset to help me push through the remainder of the semester. 

Now going on a big trip as a high schooler may not be something your parents are comfortable with. But get creative and work within their boundaries to add a little excitement to your routine. 

The same concepts apply for when you move out and don’t have to involve your parents in your decisions anymore. The point is, that having something to look forward to can add a little pep in your step during those more mundane phases in life. Helping lighten you up the days or weeks before and after.

Advise #3: A complete change in direction

This section is directed to those who feel like they are on the wrong path all together. 

You may feel like you are living someone else’s life. For one reason or another, you feel like what you do each day doesn’t align with who you are or who you want to become. You feel a lack of fulfillment or meaning.

 If these sentences resonate with you, then you have completed 

Step 1: Recognize and identify.

You realize you are not living “your own life”. 

Step 2: Have a strong desire

 Your desire to take action must be strong enough before you begin the next steps. If you are content in your comfortable routine and don’t want any different, then don’t worry about it. But if you have that drive in you, and are ready to go, then let’s make it happen

Step 3: Self Reflection

Imagine what you want your life to look like. Get creative, be open minded, and be honest with yourself. 

Things to think about…

What do I enjoy doing?

-sport, science, music..

What kind of people do I like to be around?

      -outdoorsy, city fold, intellectual, spiritual, artistic?

What do I want my future to look like?

      -travel, family, house, big business job, farmer?

These sort of questions require you to really reflect and know yourself(Self Love Practices). Take your time with this. It may take an hour, a few months… This is a super important step not to rush or skip. It is the foundation of the next steps/choices you get to make

Step 4: How to get there?

Now that you have a clear idea of the life you are going to live, how are you going to make it happen? I understand how overwhelming it can be to be in high school or freshly out of it while trying to reach your end goals. So let’s break it down so that you are only taking one small step at a time rather than making massive leaps. 

This is where you take a big goal and you break it down into smaller tangible goals. Find something you can do once a day, week, month, year that keeps you moving towards that goal. Let me use an example to better demonstrate this. Let’s say the big goal is to have a good job. The first step would be finding a job you are passionate about. 

Day: You may start with researching an hour each day

Week/Month: job shadowing different people/careers a few times a month 

Year: taking courses or going to college, or finishing high school, reading books to learn more…

Advice #4: Enjoy the journey 

Whether or not you have decided to change your whole path or just bits and pieces of your life, the whole point is to enjoy the journey. 

For some people it means to “live today like it’s your last”, but I personally think that way of living can be a bit dramatic. It is pretty easy to fill one day with things you know you love, but it’s much more difficult to create a life that you love everyday. There is a quote that resonates with me more than the other one, that also really helped me create the life that I love. 

“If I die tomorrow, would I regret today?”

This idea gave me a whole new perspective in my life and caused a lot of self reflection. I realized that there were so many small habits that were, in the grand scheme of things, meaningless. I discovered that..

I would regret wasting time mindlessly scrolling through social media.

But I wouldn’t regret a mindful rest day for my body and mind. 

I would regret going to a job that I hated with no potential to grow.

But I would not regret pushing through the hard days at a job that had a lot of meaning and purpose. 

I would regret missing sleep and being tired the next day to watch a movie.

But I would not regret losing sleep over a quality conversation with a loved one. 

At the end of the day, all of these regrettable actions could easily be replaced with something that fills my life with meaning. This shift in perspective allowed me to make subtle changes in my day to day that in turn increased the quality of my life. 

Overall:

It’s an amazing thing to have big dreams and difficult goals. You can grow so much in life by pushing yourself past your comfort zone, but what is it truly worth if you are not happy? 

Contentment/satisfaction in life comes from your daily habits. 

The happiest people aren’t happy because they went to a wedding once, got engaged once, bought their first home once, fell in love once. The happiest people have a build up of many happy moments, both small and large. 

You have the ability to change your habits and routine in order to fall in love with life. With a little direction, focus, and determination, you will be able to reflect on your day and be content with what you filled it with. Dare I say, maybe even happy. 

Comment Questions:

How content are you with your day to day life?

How much do you have to change your habits to be more content?(not at all-180 degrees?)