Take it with a grain of salt
Meaning to filter information you learn through your intuition, discernment, skepticism, and open mindedness.
I have found that people generally say this phrase when they are unsure whether the information they shared is true or not, but why aren’t we told/taught to take everything with a grain of salt?
Is it too bold to say that people who take everything with a grain of salt are the most free? Free to think for them selves, and decide what is true and what is not.
Until about a year ago I never completely understood what it truly means to “take it with a grain of salt”, but now it is a phrase I deeply resonate with.
In this post I write about
- Conditioning of Children
- A Buddhist belief(that adds a deeper understanding)
- What is “truth”?
First: Conditioning of Children
For a little context, I grew up in the Midwest in the middle of a bible belt. If you are not sure what a bible belt is, it is essentially a super religious community with many churches around. To help you visualize, I would pass 5 large churches on my 10 minute drive to school everyday, and those are only the ones that I could at least see from the main road.
I mention the bible belt, because growing up in a community where faith is highly valued, didn’t seem to leave much room for skepticism and doubt. I was taught to go to school, church, sports… with the “yes ma’am” mentality. Meaning you respectfully comply and move on. It’s not common or encouraged to question it or cause any sort of opposition. Because that could be considered disrespectful or challenging authority.
From a parental perspective:
It makes sense that this is a common way to raise kids, because some parents and adults often think that they have already found the best way to do things. They also find that it is easier to tell a kid something, the kid trusts their parent enough to believe them, and then follow along.
Parents, leaders, and people in power, who do not have a growth mindset, tend to fear doubt. They don’t want people questioning their way of leading, because they would then have to take it into consideration and potentially change things.
The positive thing about doubt is that it causes questions, curiosity, and an openness to learning and growth. All of these things are amazing for a developing child. At the same time it requires patience, energy, and time from the parents. It’s a real shame that people feel that they no longer have time or energy to encourage, or entertain doubt.
It is important to prioritize raising individuals with their own thinking mind, even if it take a little more effort and intention.
From a child’s(a person learning and growing) perspective:
There is a balance between learning from the mistakes and experience from those around you and trusting their perspectives/opinions. While at the same time having your own experiences by testing new possibilities.
Take it with a grain of salt.
Open up your mind.
Challenge people’s ways of thinking.
Who knows what you will discover along the way.
There are risks and dangers that come with exploration, but there is also growth and learning, and I would argue that it is well worth the risk.
Personal Example:
Similar to many things in life, all of this is much easier said than done. I was a pretty big people pleaser growing up and didn’t want to cause any more contention, so I would for the most part just smile and nod. Never really questioning the truth behind the education I was receiving.
Like most people, I was taught that text books, the bible, or other religious texts I read were considered truth. That was the reality I was living in. It took many years for me to open my eyes and realize that not all of the information I was being fed and am currently being fed is “truth”.
What even is truth?
Second: A Buddhist belief
I was at my neighbor’s house, who is a monk, and he had a quote on his wall that gave me a new perspective on what “truth” is.
“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”
― Buddha Siddhartha Guatama Shakyamuni
This quote deeply resonated with me as it is something that I had been gradually learning about, discovering, and beginning to live, put into words.
How I interpreted this quote:
Your truth belongs to you, it doesn’t have to be my truth, or even “the” truth(if there is any such thing as “the truth”).
Everything used to seem so black and white. Everything was either right or wrong, good or bad, true or false. But the more I question, analyze, and feel my way through life the more and more gray things become. There is no longer one “right” answer that everyone will approve of. Actually, there never was one “right” answer. Where I saw black or white, really ended up just being another shade of gray.
Sometimes it feels more stressful to live in a more “gray” world, but at the same time it feels more freeing. The stress that came from more choices eventually transformed into excitement for the vast number of opportunities that would come my way.
As I have finally discovered that I am free to take it with a grain of salt and not absorb everything taught to me, life no longer seems to be a specific road map telling me to go right or left. I am now able to see the paved roads, scenic routs, nature trails, or unmarked paths and I can be the one to make a conscious choice to walk any of them.
The amazing thing is that this is my interpretation of that quote. It is how I have reflected and applied it to my life. You may have interpreted this Buddhist quote differently and pulled out your own nuggets of “truth”. Which is just as beautiful and exactly how it should be.
Third: How to take it with a grain of salt?
Lets review the definition I gave at the beginning of this blog.
To filter information you learn through your intuition, discernment, skepticism, and open mindedness.
The power of discernment(judging truth) is something that I think everyone is born with. But like a muscle it can grow weak over time if not practiced. This process of judging truth is not often taught or always encouraged.
The concept of being able to receive information knowing that it may not be 100% true may be completely new for some of you reading this. Living life with that new idea or perspective is something to go out, practice and explore. You can now see things on the news, chat with your family and friends, read a book… and not take everything as point blank fact.
Now that you have practiced doubting the legitimacy of the information you encounter each day, you want to be sure to move on to the next step. It is important to not get stuck in doubt and skepticism. It can really rewrite your brain to question everything and trust nothing.
How to practice discernment:
1. Let information in with an open mind, questioning whether it is true or false.
2. Try to learn more, ask questions, research it if necessary.
3. Decide if it resonates with you or serves you.
4.Then either keep it or let it go
The more you work out the muscle of discernment the easier and quicker this process becomes. Eventually this can be intuitively led and a little less analytical(if that’s the way you want it).
Keep in mind that your initial impression of information received may be your gut or intuition talking to you. It may also be how the world has conditioned you, and everyone else to think about the specific topic.
After reading about what it truly means to “take it with a grain of salt”, I highly recommend reflecting about this information and deciding for yourself if it resonates with you. Reflecting can include various things including sitting and thinking on your own, chatting with someone about it, or my personal favorite, journaling about it.
If you want to learn about the importance of journaling, read Free Therapy
Comment your thoughts down below:
Do you have your own process of judging if something is true or not?
Have you always doubted truth, or is this a skill you want to learn? How will you begin practicing?
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